Or….really John…its about time you posted something!
‘Where has the time gone‘ are familiar words to those of us who…’wait‘ to do things. I’m sure I am not the only one who has started something with the best intentions, only to realize it’s not what you expected, so you ‘delay‘? That’s pretty innocent right? For a number of reasons, it’s been a really long time since I posted anything new on this blog. Kind of remarkable since I’ve had so much I wanted to say! Its been months since my last post and I’ve started writing several drafts…I just haven’t finished them. I worked hard at those drafts and darn they were good! Like so many things in my life, I feel so lucky that when I chose to do something, I’m pretty good at it. Unfortunately one of the things I am also especially good at is…procrastination!
It would seem that with a whole lot of practice over the years, I got very good at procrastination. It drives Tim crazy! It wasn’t because I intentionally procrastinate, I didn’t plan to be like that, it ‘just happened‘. It was a whole lot of ‘subliminal focus‘ and ‘subconscious effort‘ at play. When I worked full-time, I was often under the gun, up late busting my butt trying to get something done for a deadline that was just minutes away. At first it was just for the stuff I wasn’t confident enough to complete and not sure how to accomplish. Later on in my career there was always something more interesting and exciting and more fun that took my focus away from the tasks I needed to complete. Then it was mainly because I was just bored with the repetition of tasks and didn’t really enjoy some of the duties of my job. (ask my old boss about budgeting). Mid way through my work life, when I was working full time and running my own company, I just had too many things on my plate to get everything done! I needed to prioritize the enormous amount of tasks but also find a way to get some much needed rest. In the final years, before retirement, it was a combination of all of those things…but mainly… I was bored and darn tired. So really, if you thing about it, I didn’t really choose procrastination …it just happened!
I’m not really sure why after nearly 5 years of retirement I am still like this though. I am so lucky I can spend my days just doing the things I find interesting or challenging! I have ZERO problem sleeping and I easily get a minimum of 8 hours of sleep. There aren’t a lot of reasons for me to procrastinate and not do things; except maybe the fact this older body has its own challenges and some of the new tired is for reasons I can’t control. That aside, I did commit myself to doing this blog before I turned 60 and that day is just a few weeks away.
I been thinking about this for a long while now (in true procrastination style) and have finally decided to continue writing this blog, with a specific intent. For the past several months, I have created so many drafts I thought I would post about the things that have made me feel emotions I wanted to share. Far too many of those felt ranty and preachy and I didn’t feel comfortable sharing those feelings publicly. Now don’t get me wrong, I never been shy about sharing how I feel about something, but this felt like the wrong venue.
It’s not what I had originally intended to write about. I was so hung up with the injustices and unfairness I see in this world I couldn’t find the positive or new things I planned to write about! I have lots of time to think in my retirement days (maybe too much?). When you’re a creative your brain never really stops, and when you add in a personality that can easily get distracted, you’ve got a pretty hectic ‘minds eye’. Let me tell you there has been a lot to distract me over the past fews months and as an emotional person, the passion associated with injustice, unfairness, and just plain bullshit can consume you. I’d like to blame my lack of focus on procrastination but I was pretty consumed by a ton of anger and a need to fight to correct all the crap I see around me. Check out my Twitter! Ultimately it was a lot of stuff I didn’t feel right sharing with you.
Don’t get me wrong–I have a wonderful, amazing life! It’s just that I can get consumed with the injustices of the world around us, and if I am not careful, it can become all consuming.
Today, though, that will change…it has to change! I am going to reboot and devote the last few weeks before I turn 60 with a mission to find and be aware of the stuff that makes me happy. I am going to write about those things and I hope you find some warmth and positive inspiration in some of those moments. I will need to make some changes to my life to make sure I am not too distracted by the bad and will make extra efforts to focus and find those good moments. Wish me luck! Maybe the good moments won’t be just mine…maybe they’ll be yours as well! I feeling strongly that we need to share the good things in our life without judgement or jealousy. Good things happen to a whole lot of people and we should feel okay sharing them! (Feel free to share and add your own #thingsthatmakemehappy in the comments on this blog, or post it however you share). Just because we talk about the good in our lives, doesn’t mean we are ignoring the difficult and bad. Its okay to have the balance, or heck maybe even a weighted shift to the good. I need that balance and maybe those warm and happy feelings will even break me of this bad habit I have…procrastination… as I continue to write this blog before I turn 60!
The wisdom of 59! (cuz I’m older, you learn things…)
Scattered throughout this blog post are photos of things around me that make me happy. I sometimes forget that I have so much to be thankful for and I also have so much I truly enjoy in my life. We’ve worked hard to get those things and we love to share them with as many friends and family we can. Now that I am going to be 60 soon, I am finally realizing it’s okay to talk about the good things happening in our lives and not feel guilt. Everyone has something good in their life and in this world now a days we just don’t hear about them enough.