I’m not sure I remember all the reasons for starting a blog. I do recall being so excited to actually be turning 60 and it seemed like an interesting way to celebrate that! There were a lot of steps to get to 6 decades, so it felt like a big accomplishment. I knew I had lots of living still to do, but it felt like a milestone I wanted to share, to talk about, to embrace!
Around the same time, I also tasked myself with a goal of working hard to appreciate every thing I had. We all have moments that suck and we can also spend a lot of time in that negative place. I’m just as guilty! I wanted to work hard to remind myself each day, however many that would be necessary, to get to the place that makes me feel joy and gratitude. Admittedly it’s much easier to get there when you have the luxury and privilege of being with the guy who daily makes you happier than when you met him 40 years ago. Add in my next favourite guy, my 4 legged buddy, and it’s not as difficult a challenge. I am comfortable spending each day in our self built sanctuary in the woods. I have so little to worry about and I do recognize that privilege each and every single day.
Today it was just Neeko and I walking to our gym. Its an amazing space I’m proud to say we made with our own hands. We logged and milled the Pine beetle infested wood we needed and created a space to stay healthy. This afternoon the sun was shining brightly through the windows in the gym. As the most perfect songs were playing, at just the right volume on the speakers, I began my workout. Neeko had already eaten the little treat he finally found on his ‘gym bed’ and was now ready to grab a nap from the long and challenging walk it took for him to get here.
I warmed up with stretches in front of our half wall of mirrors with my eyes closed. I do that so I can’t see how far I’m stretching. It’s a game I play with myself so that I don’t stop myself from going further because it kinda looks like I should stop. Once I get to a place that’s as far as I feel safe to stretch to, I open my eyes. I take a moment to celebrate that accomplishment before I get into the heavy workout for whatever body part I’m working on. There was a time not that long ago, where the idea of bending over to tie my shoe without pain was forefront. Now I look forward to that deep stretch as I bend over to put my hands on the floor. I’m turning into a stretching addict.
Today that stunning sunshine, a couple of powerful and motivating songs together with my gym buddy comfortably asleep within eye site…I felt pretty damn good! I wasn’t going to do as much exercise as I did today, but it felt right to do just a bit more. Just like so many of the weeks I’ve been in this space, I felt like I was in a good place to push a bit.
The way I was feeling today was similar to so many these past years. It wasn’t about the exercising as much as about where I am as a 60 year old person. The issues that made me feel like I may never not have gotten to where I am mentally and physically, don’t feel as relevant any more. The pain in my body I experienced every day has a whole lot more painless hours between it now more than ever. I feel like I can live more days in a positive place and in touch with my entire body and it feels good. I feel like the efforts I’ve taken to care for my self over these past few years, on so many things, has been positive. I can understand it’s okay to feel this level of good, I’m allowed! It’s also very okay to share that you’re happy! One day I might even publish the drafts I have written that are just sitting. I haven’t posted them (and likely won’t) because I am worried they would be taken the wrong way.
It will soon be 2 years since I started this blog. Lots of posts have been cathartic and some have just been moments of pride mixed in with joy and hope. Even if I never wrote down every deep elliptical thought, it’s been an amazing journey of learning for me. As I am about to turn 62, I feel pretty sure I am in the best mental and physical health I’ve felt in decades. I have had some pretty incredible moments of self reflections these past few years. I am grateful for every day! Thanks to those who have shared that journey along with me. It’s been a wonderful lesson of growth for me. Some might even say its been a life lesson!